


Want some dessert?

by Sannek



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Bones is So Done, Humor, Jim is a brat, M/M, Oblivious Bones, Poor Spock, Semi-Public Sex, Uhura Knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-31
Updated: 2018-01-31
Packaged: 2019-03-12 00:26:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13535769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sannek/pseuds/Sannek
Summary: A little shore leave and dinner with friends in a fancy restaurant. And one James T. Kirk who certainly does not know how to behave himself.





	Want some dessert?

**Author's Note:**

> So here goes my first fic, ever.  
> I was into Star Trek before, but when I happened across the archive sometime last summer I got myself infected with that particular virus of them two cute idiots Spock and Kirk.  
> I Started writing to try to somehow get it out of my system. Didn’t work.  
> Either way, thanks for stopping by :-)  
> Hope you like it.  
> And, please have mercy on me for any twisted sentences, I’m no native speaker.

 

 

The evening was going, well, well.

On the Enterprise everything had remained peaceful as it had been for the last view weeks and all of them were happily enjoying their shore leave down on the planet.

Well not all of them. An emergency crew needed to stay up on the ship to keep things running. But they were taking turns so everybody would be able to go planet-side and have a bit of non-conditioned air and real sunshine and a steady ground under their feet.

 

As Leonard would have guessed, Jim had enthusiastically agreed to accompany him to the planet. On Jim’s request also Scotty and Uhura had joined them. And really nearly unbelievably Jim had also talked Spock into coming along. Leonard wasn’t sure he wanted to know what kind of persuasive techniques the kid had used on the hobgoblin. But, swell, here he was.

Their small party currently occupied a table in the back of a bar or restaurant or whatever this establishment should be called.

The place was quite nice – a fancy sort of decent. The music wasn’t too loud and the place wasn’t too crowded. And they had a really nice selection of food.

 

A waitress in a tight lilac dress started to bring the food they had ordered. Leonard smiled first at the girl and then at his steak.

Scotty next to him had also chosen steak. But the Scotsman barely realized that his food had arrived because he was currently far to entwined in telling the lone occupant of the neighbouring table (a leggy Andorian girl) of his adventures in Space.

Leonard just shrugged and cut into his steak.

The first bite was like heaven and melted like butter on his tongue. He had to briefly close his eyes to savour the taste.

“’s good?” Jim asked from across him. His food had not yet arrived because he had ordered really late, taking really long to decide what he should have.

Leonard nodded and put another piece of the steak into his mouth.

 

The waitress once again appeared at their table, setting a fancy looking dish of whatsitcalled in front of Uhura and a rather boring looking compilation of vegetables and a soup in front of the hobgoblin.

Uhura’s eyes lit up at the sight of the many-colored food on the bright orange plate. She clapped her hands once and flashed her beautiful smile at everyone at the table. Slowly she turned the plate one time around in front of her to marvel at it from each and every side before she started to eat any of it.

With one piece of a blueish-green thingy on her fork Uhura flashed Spock next to her a small toothy smile. The hobgoblin only raised his eyebrow at her and wordlessly forked a piece of vegetable.

 

Leonard was somewhat fascinated (to phrase it in hobgoblin terms) that Spock and Uhura seemed to get along so very well.

They had broken up some five months ago and not once Leonard had had the feeling that they were anything but comfortable with each other.

Maybe he should go ask Uhura what their secret was. Because, well, if he, Leonard McCoy, lived through a break-up on the Enterprise, he was quite sure either he or the other half would have to leave.

All his previous committed relationships had ended in drama and burnt ground.

But, never mind. There was no such thing as a significant other in his life right now. Not even someone he was interested in.

 

He smiled back at a chewing, smiling Uhura who obviously enjoyed herself.

Jim, sitting next to Spock was restless and annoying, checking out everyone else’s dishes. His own still hadn’t arrived yet. But there was no one to blame but himself. He had ordered, un-ordered and then ordered again, thankfully something different than the first time.

 

Leonard looked up from his plate again just in time to see Uhura feeding Jim something pink with yellow spots right over Spock’s plate, who (who could blame him?) looked as if he needed all of his hobgoblin traits to not glare.

Jim chewed happily.

Leonard watched him closely, his good mood somewhat dimmed. The kid was taking it far to easy with his galaxy of allergies.

Jim swallowed, grinned at him and smacked his lips grossly.

Now Spock glared and then actually jerked back as the next fork with something purple, leafy and slobbery went over his plate towards Jim.

Jim again happily complied and slurped the unappealing looking thing from Uhura’s fork. He didn’t get all of it in one bite, so some of it went down on his chin where he tried to lick it into his mouth and failed. He then used his first two fingers to brush the vegetable into his mouth and made a show of licking them afterwards. All the while being bent over Spock’s plate and holding the hobgoblin’s gaze.

Spock somehow managed to look murderous without sporting any facial expression, only his nostrils flaring.

 

Leonard couldn’t help the furrow of his brow. Tonight the kid really was pushing his luck. Not only did he eat carelessly anything off Uhura’s fork, giving no thought towards what it might do to his immune system; he also seemed to be keen on getting Spock to drown him in his soup.

 

Leonard just shook his head as he caught Jim’s gaze.

Jim, though just flashed him a million volt smile, then again locked eyes with Spock and licked his lips rather obnoxiously.

 

Leonard could only shake his head at that again.

Jim had been really happy that the hobgoblin had agreed to accompany them. But now he seemed to do everything possible that Spock would not ever join them again.

Leonard asked himself if Jim did what he did on purpose to get on the hobgoblin’s nerves or to elicit an emotional response or whatever.

As good a first officer as Spock was, Leonard very well was at a loss what the kid saw in Spock on a personal level. Well Spock and Leonard himself had laid aside their animosity and were on friendly terms but Jim and Spock moved about like conjoined twins. No way of having one without the other. Actually whenever Leonard had called on Jim in his quarters over the last few weeks it was to almost always also find Spock there.

Looking at it this way – it was even more perplexing what Spock saw in Jim to constantly endure his company.

But that was clearly the wrong train of thought for an evening out to relax. Who could possibly figure out what the hobgoblin was thinking?

 

Then, finally, Jim’s food arrived.

It was a rather small dish. Something looking like vanilla mousse. The rim of the glass bowl holding it covered in blue sugar. It came without any cutlery but therefore lots of small waffles obviously meant to be used as a spoon.

As soon as the bowl was set on the table in front of him, Jim’s finger went first into the creamy food and then to his mouth. Repeat.

Each time he removed his finger from sensually pursed lips with a small kissy noise _whilst looking straight into Spock’s eyes_.

Spock looked like he was going to be sick.

 

Jim on the other hand now had the undivided attention of everybody on their table and some others on other tables.

He still ignored the waffles in his bowl and continued to eat with his fingers. At a time getting to much of the mousse onto his finger so it went sliding down his hand. When he started to lick it off his palm, Spock moved so fast that his form blurred. Spock gripped Jim’s wrist, yanking Jim’s hand from his lips with a faint plop.

Jim was flabbergasted for just a second, his mouth hanging open gracelessly. But he got his wits back quickly, flashing a cheeky smile at Spock.

Spock in turn glared his glariest glare at Jim, breathing rate elevated. Leonard could not discern the look on the hobgoblin’s face. Still something like he was first going to ram Jim’s face into his bowl and then going to be sick. Or, well, by that look in the hobgoblin’s eyes, maybe to first ram Jim’s face into the mousse and then lick it of Jim’s face himself.

Oh hell, scratch that! No way of even thinking something as gross as that! He still had some food to finish!

 

“Jim, cease your actions now” Spock’s voice was husky and had a pained edge to it as he spoke.

Leonard caught Uhura’s amused glance, her eyebrows ticking twice quickly.

He was not so sure what the woman could possibly be amused about, as he was quite tense, not knowing if he had to be saving Jim from a Vulcan gone berserk any second now.

But his tension eased as Spock pushed his chair backwards and stalked away.

 

“Jim, what in the name of god do y’think ya doin’?” Leonard was not sure if he should feel enraged about the kid’s poor attitude towards his own well-being or if he should be grossed out by the obnoxious display of bad eating habits. Or if he should actually feel pity for the hobgoblin.

“What?” Jim hat the sassiness to sound innocent, raising his arms defensively, “I’m only eating.”

Now he actually took one of the small waffles, scooped up some of the mousse and put it gracefully into his mouth. There was no slurping, no licking, no sideways glances at anybody.

“I’ve got to fix something, be back in a minute.”

And off he went, same direction as Spock had gone.

 

Uhura was now shaking. She couldn’t hold back the laugh she had been trying to stifle all the way from Spock manhandling Jim to both of them gone now. This time Leonard was the one glaring, which only sent Uhura into the next fit of uncontrollable laughter.

Scotty who had finally discovered the steak that was waiting for his attention, had stopped eating to look quizzically from Uhura to Leonard.

Leonard somehow had the faint feeling that he and by his look also the Scotsman were missing on something that Uhura had gotten loud and clear.

 

Jim was not back in a minute.

Soon after he and Spock had left the table though, something like cosy normalcy had descended on them in their combined attempt to cover the awkward situation.

Scotty was rambling on about something he had done to the warp core. Uhura was still trying to reign in the smile that kept creeping back onto her face and Leonard was happy to give his full attention to the last bites of his steak without having to keep his eyes on the infant called Jim.

 

“You want to tell me something?” Leonard asked after he finished his food, raising one eyebrow at Uhura. Just like the damn hobgoblin, he thought.

Uhura smiled blissfully at her plate, “no.”

“Not sure I believe you. What’s goin’ on with these guys? If I didn’t know any better I’m sure I’ll find the two of them making out in the bathroom. But probably just will find Jim’s dead body.”

It was meant to be a nasty joke on those two idiot’s expanse. But the choking sound that escaped Uhura could have been a sob as well as a laugh or whatever. She pressed her lips together in an attempt to get control over her facial features.

 

“Now probably goin’ to find out. I’ve got to take a leak.” Leonard pushed away from the table, too, making his way towards the bathrooms.

 

The bathrooms were rather fancy. A long row of colorful doors behind which lay a private bathroom each. The only thing missing would have been a shower or a bath tub.

Leonard was relieved that the facilities were non of those public toilets they still had in some places – one large room in which many little cabins each surrounding a loo were aligned in a long row.

Even though while closing the door to the room he’d chosen he noticed that the bathroom hat a little fault to its fanciness. In fact all of the rooms _were_ one big room – the walls in between the separate bathrooms didn’t connect with the ceiling so that he could hear the faint rustling of clothes as well as the flushing of toilets. The music not quite drowning all the noises.

 

Leonard was just about to wash his hands when the door of the room to his left was slammed shut followed closely by the thud of someone being pressed to the wall separating the two rooms. He had to smile to himself. Even in nice, honest location as this one they had folks not able to keep their hands to themselves for one evening out.

There were several noises from the adjacent room. The noise of clothes and hair rubbing on the wall, the noise of lips on lips and the desperate sounds of someone trying really hard to not make a sound.

Some filthy part of Leonard wanted to pry and see (well, hear, that is) how far the two horndogs in the other bathroom would take their actions. Maybe he would be witness to some desperate toilet sex just as in the days way back on the academy.

Some other part of him rolled its eyes at him, going ‘ _really’_?

Next door the struggle for control over vocal chords was lost and a deep strangled moan drifted through the music filled air, followed by “shush, mind you. If you’re not able to keep your pretty mouth shut I will stop!” Jim’s voice.

What the fuck?

 

Leonard went from filthy anticipation to roaring fury in a split second. He wanted to go pounding on that wall and yell at that dickhead James T. Kirk.

What was all this shit about? First the kid made a show of himself and pissed off Spock that the green-blooded pointy-eared bastard nearly snapped his control. And then he actually found someone to nail in the fucking damn bathroom of a fucking damn decent restaurant on a fucking damn shore leave when he should be apologizing to everybody who witnessed his little food play.

A soft pained cry from the other side of the wall snapped him out of his rage.

“Hey, easy there!” Jim’s voice again if a little breathless. A sloppy kissing sound answered by something like a choked sob.

Leonard was pretty damn sure he didn’t want to know where that kiss went. “You’re going to rip my hair off if you go on like this.”

“My apologies, Jim.”

 

Leonard went cold.

With the wording and intonation Leonard immediately knew whom Jim had on that wall even though the voice was raspy and nearly unrecognisable. He thought that maybe now _he_ was going to be sick.

“No apology needed.” Leonard could hear Jim’s voice smile. “Just hold onto something else, ‘kay?”

Some more filthy slurpy sounds drifted through the wall.

Leonard only barely kept from gagging.

Answering came the noise of someone breathing much to fast through his nose, accompanied by some high pitched whining. It actually sounded almost like somebody crying.

And then up came two hands to grab the edge of the thin wall in between the two bathrooms. The fingers twitched and spasmed and the nose breathing went to mouth breathing, reminding Leonard of the breathing exercises for women in labour.

He sure as hell did not want to be here to witness whatever the hobgoblin was about to sound like when Jim took him to a new level of fascinating.

 

So Leonard concentrated on washing his hands quickly and efficiently. He made it as far as grabbing a towel when he heard the thin wall between the two bathrooms tear.

He turned to face it, and froze in place.

From the sound of it, Spock’s body was writhing against the wall, a small crack had appeared where his hands gripped the edge mercilessly.

With his mouth agape Leonard listened in horror as the mouth breathing went to a crescendo of hoarse screams accentuated with incoherent Vulcan jabbering and the thud of a head hitting the wall.

Then it stopped.

 

The music that was now again distinguishable sounded too loud and alien.

Leonard had the feeling that the whole establishment had been listening in on that creep show. And he felt like needing a shower. And an ear rinse.

Holy mother of mercy that was one hell of a creepy and goddamnit fucking unneeded explanation for what he had been witnessing all evening over dinner. And damnit, all the occasions where he had sought out Jim in his quarters only to find Jim _and_ Spock there.

Stop it! He told himself. No need to think about that shit if he wanted to keep that dinner down.

 

Leonard shoved his towel in the recycling chute and stomped off towards the table he had previously occupied with his colleges and friends.

Scotty and Uhura where still seated, bent towards each other in conversation. Uhura nibbling at some chocolate dessert. They both snapped their attention at him as he slumped down on his chair.

“Leonard, you got lost?” Uhura’s voice for once was without any sarcasm.

He crossed his arms over his chest, “no, got caught up in some sort of horror show.” he grumbled.

Uhura only raised her eyebrows at that and Scotty looked puzzled, still clearly missing something. Uhura patted his hand.

 

The other two morons did have the audacity to actually come back to their table at that moment.

Jim was grinning stupidly. Spock looked a little bit off but Leonard could not point towards where it came from as the hobgoblin’s face was as blank as usual.

At least they were not holding hands.

 

“Okay then, I’ve gotta go. Some ship business or anything or whatever. Have fun.” Leonard grumbled as he got up. No way of watching them two fools radiating blissfulness in their afterglow.

He would have laughed at the bewildered look on Scotty’s face if he had trusted his stomach to not just spill its contents as soon as he opened his mouth.

Dickheads, he thought.

He sure as hell would have to hypo himself to sleep to avoid the sure to come nightmares starring Spock’s hoarse screams and Jim licking food and his fingers and _other things_.

 

\-- END --

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don’t own any of Star Trek or the characters in it. I just like to play around with them for my own amusement. I do not gain any profit by posting this story.


End file.
